A girl's first examination...
Ok, let's talk exams in martial arts.
I still remember crystal clearly the day that my sensei announced that I should start preparing (mentally and physically) for my first exams. As a trained pianist, I should have an idea of what it meant to present yourself in front of a jury. But actually I didn't. Not because I didn't have enough experience on the podium, performing and exposing myself, but because I could absolutely not make the connection between the two arts back then.
To me, my first kyu exam was an opportunity to absolutely go in with a bang, to showcase all the hard training (it WAS really hard) that I went through, to compete against myself and every single other person in the dojo. Given that we didn't really have actual competition or participation in championships (the tradition of Okinawan karate doesn't really support this side of karate), I was feeling that now was the chance to make an impression to the kyoshi that would come and jury the exams of both dojos in Thessaloniki.
And that I did!
The motivation that kept me going until that day, the hard training (as if I was preparing for military or something), the fact that I actually was ok to sacrifice other aspects of my life - be it going out, hanging out with friends, even practising the piano sometimes - kept me pushing forward and gave me a meaning. I never thought that I would feel so hyped about any type of exam, ever in my life. And here I was, doing my best in every keiko, secretly (and sometimes obviously) competing with my fellow karateka, pushing and pulling each other through hardships and giving each other a nice kick in the butt when we felt one of us was falling behind, really kept us going and helped us bond with each other. These friendships I cherish for the last 15 years and I still look back to those moments with much love and nostalgia.
I realised that having a common cause, no matter how silly it might sound to people that are outside of the fun, is something that little by little gets carved deep under our skin. All four of us were looking for each others' backs, motivated and helped each other in our preparation. And that showed!
On the day of the exams, and after spending many hours of training together, my, our examination "moment to shine" finally came! It was at our dojo, with the nice parquet and mirrors, our usual training place - our home for the time being - that my first exams were hekd. It felt familiar and, even though I never saw the kyoshi before, I had my friends around me and didn't have anything to stress me out (or maybe I did stress out a little bit, heh!). I was looking at the faces around me and I got pumped and ready to do my best. Isn't that what we are supposed to do under pressure anyway? Push forward, no matter how stressed out or frightened we might be?
I fell in line and looked at the guys. When we heard the "hajime", everything that we have been training for made sense that day. It felt as if we were synchronized (probably not, but who cares at that moment!!!!) and we did our series of kata, we bowed down and we were finished in a *poof*! At least it felt like a *poof*!!!
It was a very successful exam, even in retrospect, even though I achieved so much more in the years to come, but this first exam was actually significant in its own way, because it gave me the energy and the reason to push forward in more things, outside karate. Feeling the adrenaline of the moment, feeling confident that what I have been training for is showing, seeing how fruitful my time and energy investment has been, gave me the biggest reason to invest in the same way in my studies, in practising the piano, in small goals in my life that would help me take steps forward. I felt that there was nothing that I couldn't do if I would put my mind to it.
It's such a beautiful feeling to know that, even if things in short term seem to be difficult and hard, on the long term you can expect your engagement and the fact that you are not giving up to bear fruit and take you one step ahead, closer to your goals. And nothing could beat that feeling....in the long term! But I didn't know it yet!
What I kept from this experience, even if the details fade away from the memory, is that, little by little, having more and more training-exam-advancement moments in my life (in karate first of all), built up such a confidence for upcoming moments in my musical carreer. I will gladly delve into the changes and fears I overcame in time in later posts, since there's always so much to acknowledge my senseis and my carreer in martial arts for, but the gist of this particular post is that, this first exam, couple of months after I started karate, as a hobby, literally transformed my perspective of exams in music. It didn't happen overnight, as I will reflect later on, but it did set the stepping stone of a lifetime full of surprises, as I walk on my path as budoka and pianist. How much these two, seemingly stranger to each other, arts intertwined and became my lifestyle is still far and difficult to even imagine, let alone comprehend, at that point. But 15 years later, here I am, dedicating my time in reflecting upon this path, which, I can assure you, is far from over!
Stay tuned!!!
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